dlu kwn...skrang...?

aq sdih...
knapa jd mcm nih?mcm2 prsoalan yg ada dlm fikiran aq.....knapa bnda nih bleh brlaku?knapa dia wat mcm 2 kat aq?knapa dr dlu dia x  ckp bnda 2?knapa br skang nk luah kn sgalanya n trus x nk kwn ngan aq?? adakah aq nih truk sgt sprti yg dia kta 2??knapa dia sggup ckp mcm pd msa skang nih? adakh dia still knal aq?adakh aq knal dia spa skang nih?bknkh dia tau prangai aq yg x ska org pendm2 prsaan,wlaupun prit klu aq dgr bnda mcm 2 tp aq akn tlan jga sbb org 2 da trus trang kt aq....tp knapa dia just diam dri dn trus simpan bnda 2 smpai da jd truk sgt,  dah mcm  x da hrapan  utk brbaik kmbali....mcm dlu2 wktu kita sma2 skolh rndah....tp knappa br skrang dia nk ckp yg dia da fedup ngan aq...knapa?..knapa?
smalamn aq hbis kn air ta aq yg da lma x dgunakn sbb nih ja..mmg la org len rsa bnda nih mngkin skit ja..just mcm mainn bdk2 kcik...tp bg aq bnda sgt2 pnting...mcm spruh dr hdup aq...
skrang dia mngkin da benci aq,mngkin dia da agp aq nih da sgt2 truk...
y not u just say the truth to me...?? mla2 mmg la aq akn mrh sbb...mmg la spa x mrh kn..tp lps 2 bnda 2 akn trus ilang...n back to normal..
tp in this case mngkin dia da x kn maaf kn aq and just forget about this thing...and also forget about me..it's better if i dont noe u at first....
aq da agk bnda mcm nih psti akn jd...cma aq buang cpt2 dan brhrp evrything will be just fine...no1 will hurt...but now???...org yg x da kna mgena msk cmpur..n org skaliling aq smua kna tempias...its all my fault..tp aq sndri x tau apa yg trjdi...just bla jd mcm nih br la aq tau...tp rsanya msa da trlmbat...its getting worse...sgt truk....entah bla bnda nih will end...i just hope that kitaorg blh settle kn bnda nih sbb aq ksian kat org2 yg trkna tempias just bcoz diaorg dduk dkt dgn aq.....
aq tau ,aq x la sbaik diaorg 2...tp aleast tell me apa yg aq wat slah...brlh blh aq baikinya...
mmg lh dia ckp yg aq pndai2 ja ckp mcm nih la mcm 2 la...pdhal aq pown x btol..kan?...tp apa2 pun aq mmg pntang klu org ckp blankang aq...or kta kat kwn aq sbb kwn aq ckp kt aq smthing yg aq x tau..n aq ptut tau..apa nih? prang saraf?? 3 vs 1..like that??huh?..aq tau mmg klu aq tulis nih mmg bunyi mcm nk gdoh tp aq x mksud kn pown...aq just nk tau apa yg aq ptut tau....
slama nih aq brsabar wlaupun ckgu da pisahkn aq dduk jauh2 dr hmp smua tp aq biar kn...
korg smbang apa2,glak2....aq x tau...ok fine ..aq lpakn..tp bla aq da rpat dgn sm1 dia kta plak...jd aq nk wat apa?x kan aq nk p dok brtenggek spanjang msa kat diaorg....korg bincang sma2...ok fine aq dduk dgn dasi...korg plan apa2 aq x tau..ok x pa aq diam....tp bla aq ckp skit dia x trima...aq tlan lg...aq sbaq..aq luahkn dkt org len...tp korg ckp aq ska kat org 2 plak...cbalh igt blik slama nih dkat spa yg aq slalu ckp apa2 klu aq ada masalh...cba igt...tp skrang bla dia da lain,dia ckp sbb da fedup dgn aq...ok fine aq  x ksah..tp pliss i need to noe apa yg aq slh....bla dia ckp smtihing yg aq trsa ..ok aq diam ja...tp bla aq brsuara skit ja..dia da mlenting.....tp mmg aq x brmaksud pown nk tulis komen sbb nk kta kat dia..cma aq gram dkt sm1...tp dia da slh fhm...tp biarlh...dia lbih tau dr aq...spa la aq nih...serba x kna..bla aq ckp skit smua x kna...apa yg ptut aq wat...aq just need sm1 utk luahkn isi ati aq...utk ilangkn rsa skit ati aq kat dia...aq tau dia pown trtekan sbb aq...tp slagi aq x luahkn ...slagi 2 lah aq x kn tenang..ssah utk aq tido...ssah utk aq kwl emosi aq...tp dia msih x fhm....x pa la...past is past klu dia still x fhm jgak..just agp aq x knal ang and ang x knal aq....biarkn aq dduk dgn kwn2 aq....aq x kcau dia lg...tp aq akn cri pgganti utk jd tmpat yg blh aq ksongkn ati aq...for now pinky lah..tp klu pinky pown da mrh kat aq...apa blh aq wat just sit in an empty room and nangis spuas ati aq,jrit skuat-kuatnya..smpai la aq lega....


brharap......